Love and Commitment

I recently heard that a friend of a friend called off his wedding because he discovered that his girlfriend (fiancee) was cheating on him. Yuck. I was angered and upset to hear this, but at the same time, happy for him that he found out before he got married (close call - one month before!). I shared this story with some collegues, and they related how people they knew had gotten divorce within a couple years of marriage - some people, within a year.

In my opinion, this is more than terrible; it is down right disgusting. I am probably in the minority on this opinion, if the statistics are any indicator, but I believe a marriage should last forever. I am ready to acknowledge extenuating circumstances, but I cannot believe that they are as prevalent as the divorce rate. (In 2003 in Canada, 38.3%)

So why is divorce so common? I think that people have unrealistic ideas about marriage. I think that people think that marriage is something fun for people in love to do. Furthermore, I think that people think that love is enough. I completely disagree.

I think a union that lasts has to be based on more than just love, but also on commitment. My experience tells me that loving is easy. I love my family, my friends, my co-workers, my neighbour, all the people I've dated.

My experience also tells me that commitment is difficult. My favorite shoes are only my favorites until I find a better pair. My hair style and colour have changed countless times. I flip between channels when watching T.V. I will drink both Pespi and Coke products.

So, I would say - find someone you can commit to - the love will follow. This may be why arranged marriages often work out and last forever, while Western "chose your own mate" marriages have high divorce rates.

I am not married yet, so maybe I am unqualified to offer my opinion on this topic, but it upsets me to hear of broken and failed marriages. I just don't think it's right.

I am willing to test my theory on myself. I am determined to approach my upcoming marriage with both love and commitment. I intend it to last forever.